Walking Two Dogs
I have two dogs
Same breed
Same size and coloring
From a distance they could pass for twins
Up close too, at least sometimes
They sleep in positions so synchronized they must come from coordinated planning
Both cuddle up to the random, stray pillow that has found its way to the floor in the same way
Beyond that, though, they are anything but twins
One is pushing triple digits in human years
The other in the throes of human adolescence
The Older one’s mouth bares only fragments and remnants
Each tooth broken or chipped and all the color of field corn
He no longer hears the knock at the front the door
His overcast eyes take an extra moment to track
His legs first quiver when pressing upward from slumber
The Younger one’s teeth come to glistening points
He can go from 0 to 60 at the faintest trace of the door’s knock
His energy measured by relentless 360-degree spinning as his food dish is filled
The Older one wasn’t always this way
His barreled chest once heaved as his paws thundered down the path of a forest’s floor
But the years have a way of taking their toll
They usually do
Hidden underneath fur are the scars of multiple surgeries
We almost lost him
More than once
The Younger one got sick last year
Lethargic would be too gracious a word to describe him
He didn’t eat
He was too pained to lay down
Just stood there, head drooping to the floor
Every breath a pathetic wheeze that only came as if by hard labor
A humbling reminder of the fragile transience of youth
But he rebounded
Went 0 to 60 in just few days
Agedness has not yet placed its limits on him
The difference between these two dogs of mine is never more pronounced than on a walk
The Younger one dashes ahead
Head and shoulders straining – legs bounding and zigzagging – every scent jerking his nose this way and that – a manic back and forth explosion of sensory overload
The Older one lags behind
His steps plodding and measured
His olfactories leave no stone unturned and pore over every blade of grass
Sometimes he even stops
Not in pain, nor making any sound or gesture of discomfort
Just silent, statuesque resistance as if to say, “I have come as far as I intend to go”
And I am in the middle, between the two
Trying to keep us all together
My arms pulled so far in either direction it seems I’m holding wrought-iron leashes
Every time we go out, we replay this choreographed routine
The young one racing out in front
The old one pacing up the rear
And me straining to hold the one back and coax the other forward
Sometimes I am successful and we are all together
The three of us walking side by side
Our steps in perfect alignment
But it is a fleeting moment and soon we revert to our prescribed positions
I wonder if we are all not walking two dogs like this – each in our own way
Finding ourselves between a world that seems to be out of control, changing faster than we’d like, and one we know is never coming back
Between a body that longs to keeping writing checks and one that hasn’t been able to cash them for a lot longer than the check-writer can accept
Between racing to catch up to a church we were never meant to become and one not ready to admit its better days are behind it
Between a version of ourselves impatiently pressured to achieve and accomplish, and one that is learning to lollygag in gratitude and contentment
Maybe one day we’ll find our steps in alignment
Or maybe the best we can hope for is a glimpse here or there
One thing I am sure of, though… both dogs are loved.
Blessings – Michael